Hi.

(via pie-ohneer)

Just like the title.

That’s how I feel right now.

1) Well, I guess you all know since it’s been so public and shit about it. Me and awy broke up because he has no feelings left for me. Right now, It’s not the fact that he has no feelings for me left that makes me sad, it’s that when he said we should be friends, it didnt happen. Instead, we ended up as 2 ppl acting like strangers.

2) There’s this year 9 guy. I’m sure some of you have seen me with him in school. He treats me like…. Damn, We have a thing right here, but no. We’re just friends. He hugs me, plays with my hair, and even kissed my forehead. Alot of people are like, “DON’T DATE HIM, LAILA. He’s a player. He does that to every girl. Everything he says is not true.” This happened to me lastime. When I was with J (LOL). Everyone was like warning me, that he says he’s changed because of me but it’s not true. He’s a pervert lah. Even people I didnt know warned me. Alot of them hated me. And I didn’t care. I stayed with the shits he put me through. The times where I always said NO to him when he asked me for sex. Times where I would catch him asking other girls for sex when I said no. The times where he didn’t say I love you to me. But anyway, back to this year 9 guy. Just now, I told him that my friends keep saying I shouldn’t be close with him. He said, “Then don’t”. I just stayed quiet. He asked me, “Are you afraid?”, I said, “No.”, He said, “Don’t be afraid. If you are, then you’re just a pussy.” He makes me feel so… GAH, I wanna say it. I wanna say I like you, I want to but I can’t, ‘cos you don’t feel anything. You think it’s okay to be like this. To hug and kiss me, to play with my hair, to say such sweet things. When I’m just in your friend zone.

3) My artbuddy is leaving. I think we had a thing, but Idk. Everybody said you liked me but I didn’t believe it ‘cos you have a girlfriend. I hope you have a safe journey to Phils then Cali :) Gonna miss you loads.

4) Last one, You guys saw my wall. So it’s pretty obvious. I’m not with him though. I liked him since before already. Since before you all dated with him. I liked him. But now, we’re never going to be together ‘cos alot of his exes are my bestfriends. I dated one of my bestfriend’s ex once. Twas horrible. So, I’m not doing it again. What we’re having is maybe temporary, ‘cos I find that he falls for other girls easily and I don’t think he’s mature. Btw, when I say ILY to him. I meant I like you. Not I love you. Just to make it clear. And also with him, no one is agreeing that I should be with him. I know it’s my choice but I’m still young. I can find other guys.

I’m sorry the reason I’m blue is only about boys,

but it’s the truth.

Rather than I keep saying it’s about Exams.
I’m not sad ‘cos of that actually.

So thanks for reading, if you actually did :)